Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize