Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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