I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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