if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize