Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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