It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize