We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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