His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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