I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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