Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
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He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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