So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
sex in a hospital.. check
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize