I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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