It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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