If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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