It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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