where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
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I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
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