dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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