I must be too annoying 4 u.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I want a musical about memes.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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