READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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