remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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