on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
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I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
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My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
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