I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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