Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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