we made out on top of his cat.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
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Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
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Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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