there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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