I can text with my tongue
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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