just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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