You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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