im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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