its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize