i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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