I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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