I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
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the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
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time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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