Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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