I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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