I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize