She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize