I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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