Jerry, you need to find god
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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