Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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