I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize