The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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