after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize