But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
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He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
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Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
my poor anus
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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