I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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