In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize