just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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