i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize