just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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