Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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